Here’s Why You Should Take a Breather

After a contractor’s mistake, I tried this calming technique and came out on top.

Looking out a scenic window, a woman takes a pause—photo by Sam Carter on Unsplash.

How often have you dealt with someone else’s mistake only to land in frustration? However, by using this simple calming technique, you'll save yourself some anxiety and stress. When the manufacturer of our window blinds made a mistake in sizing, I remained calm enough to see an opportunity in the error.

My husband and I had just moved to Flagler Beach, Florida, a quaint town between St. Augustine and Daytona Beach on the Atlantic Coast. We were excited to move in after selling our house in Pennsylvania. Life felt new and adventurous.

After moving in, we were busy turning a house into a home. We had left many belongings in Pennsylvania, and letting go had been tough. Now, though, a whole excitement of starting fresh took over. In the ensuing weeks, the delivery people found their way to our new address. Our house was beginning to spiff up, even with its sheets of packing paper covering our bedroom and living room windows for privacy. Window coverings had yet to be a priority. 

But it was next on the list. 

Window blind representatives walked around the house assessing cost, ultimately landing about the same price. 

All companies quoted 6 to 7 weeks for a plantation shutter installation. Project house-to-home would take longer than anticipated. In the meantime, paper blinds replaced the packing paper. 

As installation day approached, I became excited. My daughter’s visit from Pennsylvania neared, and I looked forward to removing the paper blinds.

Danny (name changed), the installer, was friendly and cordial. He unwrapped a box, pulled out a window shutter, and said, "Oh no." 

 Oh no? I thought. 

"The manufacturer made the shutters in the wrong size." After that, Danny said all of the right things. He'd let the owner know and believed another order could be expedited.

A couple of days later, I discovered there would be no expediting. The shutters were custom-made to fit the windows, and they would take time. To appease the situation, the owner sent Danny back to put the wrong-sized shutters (3 inches too short) in so we could at least remove the paper blinds.

I handled all of this well until this happened.

"I don't like them," my husband said a bit later after the window shutters had been hung. I could feel my distress rising. 

He didn't like them, I thought. Now what?

Breathe and Assess the Situation

So, I could have thrown a tantrum. Getting window coverings had been my project. My husband had been hands-off. Now, he looked at them and saw fault with their design. The outside-mounted plantation shutters hung like big boxes around the windows. Even worse, the longer I stared at the shutters, the more my perception of them shifted. Maybe I didn't like them either.

Instead of fully defending my choice of shutters, I got quiet and breathed. Taking conscious breaths helps slow down the momentum of thoughts. 

Conscious breathing helps the body take time out, the time needed to assess the situation. Instead of seeing a messy situation (okay, I did witness that, too), I refocused on an opportunity.

The next day, I called the window blind company. Would they entertain changing the order to inside-mounted shutters? I waited on the phone while they checked. 

"We will have to come back out and re-measure," they said. 

The company’s owner arrived a day later and personally re-measured the windows.

“Hopefully, the inside-mount shutters will look more integrated with the windows,” I said, explaining the change to the owner. 

"The best mistake I ever made," the owner said, laughing afterward. Of course, someone other than the owner had made the mistake. But I appreciated him taking ownership. 

Conclusion 

Other’s mistakes are often super frustrating. A product or service we expect to receive is temporarily halted, and our energies are ebbed downward. Our experience tells us this situation will take time and energy to correct.

Consider the pause, knowing that life rolls this way occasionally. 

Breathe in and out consciously.

Taking a deep breath in and out brings you to the present moment, where your best self makes decisions. Otherwise, disheartened thoughts may gain momentum, obscuring your ability to see the event more clearly or differently.

Assess the present situation.

With a few slow, deep breaths, I can better shift from thoughts of judgment to curiosity.

Lately, I recall the phrase, "Life happens for me (not to me)." 

If life happens for me, then why the sizing error? I wondered. The sizing error allowed me to recover from our initial order. If the initial order had come in the right size, we would have been left with window shutters we didn't love.

Practice taking deep breaths throughout the day. Then, the mind and body can more readily use the power of the pause when situations go sideways. The outcome is less stress, more calm, and even insight and clarity of direction.

I am all for powerful outcomes. How about you?